The art of the argument...

The end of an argument or discussion should be, not victory, but enlightenment.

Joseph Joubert

As I work with groups of people in boards, clubs, or even churches, I am always watching to see how a difference of opinion is handled by colleagues and friends.

I've observed situations where the two people who disagree stay calm, refrain from insults and are willing to listen to each other.  On the other hand, I've also seen situations where emotions run high, sarcasm reigns and the slightest objection, or even a request for an explanation is taken as a personal insult.

In some cases, I've seen friendships and even family relationships ruined over what began as a very simple difference of opinion!  It's as if the offended person is saying, "Okay!  Now that you don't agree with me, I have to hate you forever!"

While it's true that it can be difficult to get your point across without saying hurtful things, it is also possible to resolve problems and remain collected and reasonable.

When you're faced with that difficult conversation remain calm.  Focus on keeping your voice at a steady, low tone.  If you get emotional, remind yourself that you must maintain your dignity and that lashing out will not help.

Make sure the other person knows that you are willing to listen and that you respect them.  Always remember that even though you may not agree with what they are saying, they feel just as strongly about their views as you do about yours!

Be reasonable. The outcome may not be exactly what you wanted, but let's face it, most people don't get exactly what they want!

Set healthy boundaries for the discussion.  If an argument is going on and on, it's likely that nothing will be accomplished and everyone involved becomes emotionally drained, tired, and more likely to make irrational decisions. (Professional counselors and mediators say that after an hour, you are simply repeating the same things over and over.)

Another thing to remember regarding healthy boundaries is that if someone is being verbally abusive, insulting, or just plain obnoxious, it's wise to end the discussion with a promise to get in touch later and walk away. That may seem obnoxious in itself, but it's far better to step away than end up in a situation where both sides are saying things they don't really intend to say!

Keep in mind that the result of a disagreement should be enlightenment and a clearer understanding of the other person's views.  There is no victory in just "winning" an argument for the sake of winning!

Finally, remember this: Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

Blessings,
Sharon

Life is sown thickly with thorns 
and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. 
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, 
the greater is their power to harm us.

Voltaire

Into every life there comes a time when things don't seem to be working out according to even the most carefully thought out plans!

Tragedy strikes.  

We lose someone close to us. 

Life doesn't seem fair.

We suffer great misfortune.

I know you've heard someone say,  "Time  is a great healer," or "This, too, shall pass," or, one I heard again just the other day, "Well, the only way to go now is up!"

There's a reason those sayings have been around for years. They are, in many ways, true!

I'm not saying that you should never allow time to grieve or to deal with hurtful issues.  And, I'm a strong advocate of seeking help from a professional counselor or someone in your faith family. 

However, I do know from experience that when things are really tough, the most resilient people seem to find an inner strength from relying on their family, friends and their faith to keep living life.

One of my favorite scenes from the animated feature film Finding Nemo is when Dory says to Marlin, who is ready to give it up and quit,  "Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills... When life gets you down do you wanna know what you gotta do?" 

Marlin replies,  "I don't WANNA KNOW what you gotta do." 

Even so, Dory begins to chant and sing: "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim!" 

In frustration,  Marlin shouts back at her: "Dory, NO SINGING!" 

Dory replies, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim!  When you want to swim you want to swim!" 

Then, in an angry tone of voice, Marlin shouts, "See I'm gonna get stuck now with that song... Now it's in MY head!" 

Dory apologizes and swims on....Then Marlin follows her.

As he keeps swimming he finds himself moving closer to finding his beloved Nemo.  He focuses on the good things left in his life and on accomplishing the goal of reuniting his family!

His life was sown thickly with "thorns" -- from scary sharks and stinging jellyfish to a seemingly insurmountable distance to swim.  But, as he kept moving, he found that the scary things were left behind and the distance was covered!

My challenge to you is this:  If things are getting you down and it seems there's no way to go but up....look up!

Find  the good things ahead of you and focus your attention there.  

Then....just keep swimming!!

Blessings!

Sharon

It seems like yesterday....

If we teach today as we taught yesterday, we rob our children of tomorrow.

John Dewey

How many times have you tried to have something repaired only to find they no longer make parts for that model?  Have you ever had someone tell you that your model of television, computer, or cell phone is "obsolete" and it would be smarter to "upgrade" to the new model?

Just as technology has changed the way we do business, the way we are entertained, and the way we live, it has also changed our entire education system.

Think about this:  The chalkboard was introduced to the classroom in 1841. Josiah Bumstead said, regarding the inventor of the chalkboard system of teaching in a classroom: "The inventor of the system deserves to be ranked among the best contributors to learning and science, if not the greatest benefactors of mankind."  

Other notable innovations in classroom technology include:
1925 - Overhead projector
1940 - Ballpoint Pen
1950 - Slide Rule
1959 - Photocopier
1970 - Handheld calculator
1980 - the PLATO computer
1999 - Interactive Whiteboard
2005 - The iClicker
2010 - The iPad
2012 and beyond - "Smart" class rooms and much, much more!

Technology has changed the way children learn.  It has also, out of necessity, changed the way teachers teach, and it demands that we change the way we govern our schools.

From modeling smart use of available technology to requiring education leaders to maintain rigorous standards of professional development, school board members and other school administrators must create a culture where continuous learning and improvement is the norm.

We must expect our teachers and students to rise above the average and strive for excellence and we must do everything possible to provide the necessary technology, leadership training and resources to accomplish their goals.

We must also be committed to governing our schools in such a way that those who look to school board members and other administrators for guidance can see  there is a commitment to  rising above the average and striving for excellence at every level of education!

My challenge today is that you would get more involved in education in your community.

 If you're a school board member or administrator, do a simple checklist for yourself and your school board.  Are you taking advantage of all the available resources and technology that will streamline your plans for improvement and accountability measures?

If you are a parent, make sure you are involved at every level of your student's learning.  

If you are a patron with no children or grandchildren in your school district, you can call someone in your district and offer to volunteer or help purchase supplies or other resources.


One final thought:

One hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, 

what kind of house I lived in, or how much money I had in the bank.

But, the world may be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child.

Author unknown

Blessings,

Sharon

Go vote....

"Let each citizen remember at the moment he is offering his vote 

that he is not making a present or a compliment to please an individual--

or at least that he ought not so to do; 

but that he is executing one of the most solemn trusts in human society 

for which he is accountable to God and his country. "

Samuel Adams, The Writings of Samuel Adams, Harry Alonzo Cushing, editor (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1907), Vol. IV, p. 256.

The polls are open until 7:00 p.m.

Go vote.

That's all for today!

Blessings!

Sharon

Seize the day....

The past should be left in the past. 

Otherwise, it can destroy your future. 

Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, 

not for what yesterday has taken away.

-- unknown

It would be impossible to remember the number of times I've heard someone say, "Just do it...you only live once!" or "Seize the day!"

I am often  reminded of a friend of mine whose life ended much too soon, and each time I think of him, I am reminded that we never know what life is going to have in store for us and that it is important to live each day to the fullest.

Benjamin Franklin said, "If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality."

There are days when we waste our time, as well as our mental and spiritual energy obsessing over past  failures or hurtful incidents. We worry about all the things that "should have been" and we dwell on our anger against someone for something said or done  that caused us pain or embarrassment.

Dwelling on those things can cause us to miss an opportunity,  to build a new relationship or even start a new career.  It may also cause insomnia, anxiety, ulcers, or  a host of other health problems.

I challenge you to STOP! 

 Stop letting those things from the past that are unnecessary in your life today  control your mental, spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.  

Make today, the day you decide to leave the bad things behind and concentrate on what tomorrow has to offer!

Blessings,

Sharon

What are you doing?

I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. 

I acted and behold, service was joy.

Rabindranith Tagore

I just finished reading excerpts from an  article that was posted in August 2011 in the journal Health Psychology.  The writers quoted statistics from a study that was done in Wisconsin, where a random sample of over 10,000 Wisconsin residents who had graduated from high school in the late 1950's were interviewed over a 16 year period.


The article states: *** "In 2004, the participants reported how often they had volunteered within the past 10 years. They also explained their reasons for volunteering, or, in the cases of those who had not volunteered  but were planning to, the reasons they would.

Some of the participants' motives were more oriented toward others, such as "I feel it is important to help others" or "Volunteering is an important activity to the people I know best." Other respondents, however, had more self-oriented reasons for volunteering, such as "Volunteering is a good escape from my own troubles," or "Volunteering makes me feel better about myself."

Researchers then compared the participants' responses with physical health information that had mostly been collected in 1992. The researchers also considered the respondents' socioeconomic status, mental health, social support, marital status and health risk factors, including smoking, body mass index and alcohol use.

The findings showed that those who volunteered for more altruistic reasons had lower mortality rates as of 2008 than people who did not volunteer. Of the 2,384 non-volunteers, 4.3 percent were deceased four years later, compared with 1.6 percent of altruistic volunteers who had died.

However, people who said they volunteered for their own personal satisfaction had nearly the same mortality rate (4 percent) as people who did not volunteer at all.

"It is reasonable for people to volunteer in part because of benefits to the self; however, our research implies that, ironically, should these benefits to the self become the main motive for volunteering, they may not see those benefits," said study researcher Andrea Fuhrel-Forbis, also of the University of Michigan." ***

My  mother-in-law, who is 78 years old still volunteers one day a week at the local food pantry and does volunteer sewing for the charitable organization, Newborns in Need.  She does this because she loves to help where help is needed! The added benefit is that she is healthier and happier because of her service to others!

My challenge today is this: Look around your community and find something that needs to be done.  We all have opportunities to help.  


You may find, like my mother-in-law and many others that the blessings of volunteerism are worth it!

Blessings,

Sharon

*** To read the entire article about the benefits of volunteering go to: http://news.yahoo.com/people-volunteer-live-longer-study-suggests-115806902.html

Just do SOMETHING!

Once you do nothing, it's hard to quit.

 -- unknown

Have you ever looked around your home or office and thought to yourself, "I really need to clear the top of my desk," or "I really have to get that closet cleaned out," then, in frustration, said to yourself, "There's no way I can get to that today!"


Even some of  my most organized friends have confessed they have delayed completing daunting tasks when the job seemed too overwhelming!


Sometimes we put those monumental tasks off because we've mistakenly bought into the idea that every single task begun must be finished with no interruption in the process -- that failing to complete every single thing on the "to do" list is tantamount to failure!


The thing to remember is that no matter the size of the task, you have to break it down into "pieces" to accomplish completion!


Doing "nothing" that moves you closer to finishing the job accomplishes just that -- NOTHING!


It's easy to put things off again and again when the assignment is one that you know will consume a lot of time.


My challenge on this day is to do SOMETHING that will move you toward the completion of that really enormous task that has been set before you!  (You might find it interesting to keep track of how many steps, or how much time it involves to actually finish the task!)


Blessings,


Sharon

It only takes a spark....

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame 

by an encounter with another human being. 

Each of us owes the deepest thanks 

to those who have rekindled  this inner light. 

--Albert Schweitzer

One definition of the word "kindle" is: to light up, illuminate, or make bright. One might say, "Happiness kindled her eyes!"


I'm sure you've seen it before -- that "light" in a person's eyes when they are with someone who cares about them or someone who is a special "forever friend" who knows them better than anyone else.


I trust and hope that everyone reading this blog has that one good friend who knows, (and keeps) your confidence. It's that special friend who knows the goodness in you and knows about the times you've made mistakes....and loves you anyway!


It's the friend who came to you when you were feeling low and spoke words of encouragement, offered a hug for good measure and reminded you of your "inner light"....all the while asking nothing in return!


I know you're probably thinking of someone right now, so take just a few minutes and look up an email address, find that friend on Facebook, or even better,  give that very special someone a call...right now, while you're thinking of it!  It's time to say Thank You!


It's time to tell that extraordinary person that you are humbly grateful for the encouragement...for the "rekindling" of your inner light!


Blessings!


Sharon

Keep on moving....

Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.

Johann Wolfgang von Goebe

Have you ever said to yourself, "If I can just get through this week, I will be fine!"

At times, we become so overloaded with work, civic, and family responsibilities it seems nearly impossible to believe it can all be done!

It's during those times we stop and "make a plan" to get things in order  and prioritize. Then, with a fierce determination we soldier on, accomplish the task, and promise that we'll never allow life to get that crazy again!

But what about the times when emergencies arise, when bad things happen, and life seems to go from from bad to worse....you think it can't possibly get any worse....then it does.

If we're not careful, those times of crisis or tragedy can overtake us and cause us to mentally, socially, spiritually, and sometimes physically "shut down". 

It's during those times we have to square our shoulders up, take a deep breath and just keep moving!  The very act of doing SOMETHING helps us endure those things life throws at us!

Doing SOMETHING to actively manage your situation, (instead of letting the situation manage you!)  will help you face the fear that may arise from the very circumstance you are facing.

Doing SOMETHING will help you stay focused on a positive outcome and enable you to pay attention to those around you who may be reaching out to help you.

My challenge for you is this: If life's troubles have brought you down, stop for just a little while.  (You may as well spend a bit of time praying while you're already on your knees!) 

Then...look up!  Look for something to do!  Look for someone who is probably already there, reaching out to help you!

Lastly, when you've made it through the struggle, look around and find someone else who is enduring the same kind of situation and reach out and lend a little encouragement!

Blessings!

Sharon

Here's what I want....

A positive attitude focuses on what you do want.
A negative attitude focuses on what you don't want.

Connie Podesta & Jean Gatz

Have you ever noticed when there's perceived trouble the conversations seem to focus on the very thing that no one seems to want?  


Whether it's an elected official, or some other leader that people are disappointed in or a situation that simply needs to change to improve the quality of life for everyone involved, we find ourselves listening to people reiterate the same negative information over and over.


To a certain extent, maybe we've all been caught up in the cycle of negativity at one time or another.


As we begin this new week, my challenge to you is to think about the negative things you've heard in the past few weeks, then write down something positive you would like to see happen in that very situation.  It may be something you need to accomplish or it may simply be an overarching goal of improvement in yourself,  your family, or your career.


When negative things are brought up to you, or when they work their way into your thought processes, stop, remind yourself of that good thing you would like to see come about, then move toward doing something that can help make that good thing a reality!


Have a good week!


Blessings!


Sharon

Practice makes perfect...

Moral virtues we acquire through practice; like the arts.

Aristotle

Benjamin Franklin was a true polymath!  His wide variety of talents and skills combined with natural leadership abilities propelled him to the forefront during the birth of our nation, and beyond. Not only was he one of our nation's Founding Fathers, he was a prolific author, inventor, postmaster, musician, scientist, civic activist, political theorist, politician, statesman, and diplomat.  


His theories and discoveries regarding electricity had a major impact on the world of science during the American Enlightenment age and some of his inventions revolutionized the very existence of the citizens living in our young nation!


Franklin was the inventor of many things. Some of his inventions included the lightning rod, bifocals, the Franklin stove, and the carriage odometer. He also formed both the first public lending library in America and first fire department in Pennsylvania!  


As wise, and diversely talented as he was, Benjamin Franklin knew that there were things in life, such as moral virtues that must be practiced diligently.  He knew that learning the definition of a virtue would in no way prepare him to have that quality in his life.


He wrote down, and defined,  13 virtues he believed mankind should aspire to and acknowledged that he must read the list over and over and truly practice each virtue.  


His list of 13 virtues included: 

1. Temperance
2. Silence
3. Order
4. Resolution
5. Frugality
6. Industry
7. Sincerity
8. Justice
9. Moderation
10. Cleanliness
11. Tranquility
12. Chastity, and
13. Humility

Several years ago, I copied Franklin's list, along with his definitions of each virtue, and made it a point to spend some time each week focusing on one virtue and I started looking for ways that "virtue of the week" could apply to my life.  I've noticed on several occasions that as a particular virtue was my focus, I would have an opportunity to practice that character-strengthening quality in a way I might have missed had I not been really thinking about it during that phase of my life.


I challenge you to "Google" Franklin's 13 Virtues right now and read the definitions for yourself. You may want to add some of your own to Franklin's list of 13 and begin practicing those life qualities.  I can promise you will begin to notice changes very soon!


Blessings,


Sharon

If I only had a brain....

I not only use the brains I have, but all I can borrow.

Woodrow Wilson

In the classic movie The Wizard of Oz, Ray Bolger's character, Scarecrow, believes he must go in search of  a brain.  He travels with Dorothy,  Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion down the yellow brick road, facing perils and mortal danger to reach the Land of Oz to see if the great and powerful Wizard of Oz will give him the brain he so desires!


As the friends travel and face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, an interesting dynamic develops. Scarecrow, working with his friends begins to come up with some very good ideas!  Remember the scene where he uses reverse psychology to get the trees to "give up" their apples?


As Scarecrow is encouraged and sometimes challenged by his friends, his own mental aptitude seems to grow! He found himself surrounded by good people who were smart, truthful and didn't mind entering into a healthy debate to challenge him to think!


So, don't  surround yourself with people who are "yes-men" who will  mindlessly agree with your every statement and action.  Instead seek out people who will be honest and will inspire you to develop your own belief system to the point that you know who you are and what you believe. 


Go ahead!  Use your brain....and borrow some wisdom from those around you!


Blessings,


Sharon

Learn a new trick....

Everyone thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy

It's so simple to see the need for changes in other people!


When an issue is unresolved, or things just aren't working out right, it's very easy to look at the other person and find the error in their ways.  We are usually quick to focus on how much better our relationship with that person would become if only that person would make the necessary changes.


An annoying co-worker, a tyrannical supervisor or even a family member can sometimes be the one person who just seems to be that one who gets on your very last nerve!  A conversation with them can be painful... like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard!


My challenge to you is to think very carefully about some of the exasperating conversations you've had with that individual, then spend a few minutes thinking of something you could have said differently.  It may be that you could have simply used different body language, or possibly diffused a bad conversation with a bit of pleasantry.


I learned something from a business leader in the direct sales field that has helped improve the nature of many dialogues I've had over the years. It's quite simple. All you have to remember is the acronym F.O.R.D.


It stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams!


It only takes a few minutes to engage someone in speaking about their family, their occupation and their recreational hobbies.  In that few minutes you've let them know you are interested an what's going on in their  personal and professional life.  Knowing that you've shown an interest can soften the hardest heart and it usually causes them to smile!


(I haven't forgotten "Dreams".  It's just takes a little more time and focus to get someone to share about their dreams -- realized or unrealized.  Consider that the "next step" in your plan to make a change for the better to see if your new attitude can improve the situation!)


Blessings!


Sharon

Happy Easter!

The great gift of Easter is hope - 

Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God, 

in His ultimate triumph, and in His goodness and love, which nothing can shake.

Basil Hume

Enough said. :-)


Seriously!  


There's so much I could write about Easter, but I think the fact that we have hope and God's unshakable goodness and love available is powerful enough to cover all that I know, think, and feel about Easter....and much more!


Wishing you a very blessed Easter Sunday!


Sharon

I'm investing in.....

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy, and focus to, 

whether positive or negative.

Adam McGinness

Have you ever been around someone who seems to belittle the things you deem important?  Is there someone in your office or a group you have membership with, who seems to constantly  "talk down" your ideas or  belittle your dreams and future plans?


I copied the quote you just read at the top of this blog from the Facebook page of a friend the other day and I've thought of the wisdom it holds many times since discovering it there!


What do you give your attention to?  Do you expend the largest amount of energy to working toward solutions, or just talking about the problems?  Where is your focus?


I believe we actually do become like the things we think about....the things we focus on.  If you are facing relationships, personal or professional, that are negative, take time to seriously consider the impact they have on your mental and physical well-being.


Distance yourself from the negative if you can.  If you can't see a way to make a change at this time, at least spend a bit of time every morning before you even get out of bed, and every evening just before you drift off to sleep, thinking of the most positive, uplifting relationships in your life.  


Those things you think of just as your mind begins to rest, will help determine how you rest! And, it's always easier to face the negative if you've "filled the tank" with lots of positive first!


A lady I used to work would share with us periodically about her prayer time and how valuable it was to her to start and end each day in prayer.  She was a part-time seamstress so it seemed especially descriptive when she would say to us, "A day hemmed on both ends with prayer is less likely to unravel!"


My challenge to you is to make an attempt to eliminate the negative and spend your time and energy focusing on the positive things in your life!  


Let me know how that works for you!


Blessings,


Sharon

Whose job is it?

The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, 

he is a "parent" of the future.

Herbert Spencer

With so much political news everywhere we turn, it's hard not to think about upcoming elections -- from local school board elections that will happen very soon to the "Big One" in the fall, we all have a duty to vote.  


However, with  that duty comes a responsibility to know the candidates, what they stand for, and where their major support lies throughout the community, state or nation.


When I think of our responsibility to find and vote for the best candidate for each office, I am reminded of a particularly balmy evening, several years ago, when I was with friends visiting the various national memorials in Potomac Park in Washington, D.C.


Early in the evening, my friends and I stood  in front of the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Wall and I was moved to tears as a very dear friend of mine told me that on an earlier trip to D.C., her  young son stood and read the names of the soldiers lost in that war while listening to the sounds of the running water.  After a conversation with  her, and after listening to her description of the purpose of The Wall, he acknowledged his belief that the running waters in front of that memorial were symbolic of the tears shed for all those lost in the war. 


For one so young, he had an amazing grasp on the reality of the actual purpose of that memorial!


As the evening progressed, we walked by all the national memorials, stopping to remember family members and friends who had served and died in various wars....I will never forget the moment we stood in front of one particular statue at the Korean War Memorial that seemed to be a true artist's perception of the way my own father would have looked as he trudged into battle wearing his rain gear, wielding a combat rifle, ready to die for his country.


Later, during our continuing  tour of the park, I  found myself all alone in the Jefferson Memorial. As I looked around that beautiful hall, I was taken aback by the fact that in this busy city, surrounded by all the visitors to the park, including the group I was with, I stood alone. It was as if that moment in time was meant especially for me.  It seemed I could sense there was a purpose for my chance to have that time to absorb the immense greatness of the place I stood!


In the dim light of that memorial, I found myself studying the words of the inscriptions engraved upon the walls and under the dome of this beautiful monument...Words that had been penned by Thomas Jefferson during the birth of our nation. 


"...And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor." 


During those quiet moments when I was literally alone with my thoughts, I  found myself coming to a point in time that some would call a "crisis of belief" where I had to stop and ask myself, "Who am I that I should do anything but serve in this great nation when so many have given so much more than I will ever be asked to give?"


Later, as I left the memorial and was visiting with my friends and colleagues who were visiting the park with our group that night, I was moved to tears to know that I was in the company of friends who felt, as I did, that we each have a responsibility to our children -- to our future -- to work diligently to stand for the good, the true, and the beautiful things life  has to offer.


That evening was the culmination of a thought process I had been reflecting on for many months. Because of  those moments of reverence and awe spent remembering those who have blazed the path for us,  I know  I left the beauty and reverence of Potomac Park that evening forever changed. 


I left  knowing that I would always feel a sense of pride and reverence for every military man or woman, as well as every public servant elected to represent the people of our great nation.


That said, I ask that you not consider time spent as an advocate for children, education and the well-being of our young people as "working for kids" -- rather, I ask that you consider  time spent on behalf of our children as an "investment"  in the future of our nation and in  better things to come for those who follow us.


I challenge you to find a cause that is beneficial for children and do what you can to further that mission!  I challenge you to do it now...you're already online reading this blog!  Google it! 


Look for a cause you're comfortable with that encourages or supports our kids and their education or well-being and get involved!


We truly are the "parents" of the future! 


Blessings to you and to your cause!


Sharon

Everyone needs one.....

"I always feel smarter after talking to Carter."

-- Me

Who do you think of when you think of the word "mentor"? 


A successful business man...an inspiring teacher...a true statesman...an inspiring leader... a family matriarch who is the fountain of family wisdom?


In Homer's The Odyssey, we see the  first use of the word "mentor" and it was actually the name of a man who was a "teacher" and "overseer" of Odysseus' son, Telemachus.     In The Odyssey, Mentor was a trusted friend and counselor...someone whose experience and success gave credence to his ability to teach.


Over the years, having a mentor has evolved into something deemed necessary for success in business, education, entertainment or virtually any other career.  Mentoring programs are commonplace because over the years it's been proven that a good way to learn how to do the thing that needs doing is to learn from someone who has done it before!


Years ago, I had a chance to begin watching  a man by the name of Carter Ward lead Missouri School Boards Association (MSBA)  as its Executive Director.  I began attending MSBA meetings as a locally elected school board member and through a desire to serve at a different level and an interest in working with the leaders of the association, I worked my way up to become one of four statewide elected officers of the association and was able to work closely with Dr. Ward and his staff.


One thing I have always admired about Dr. Ward is  his uncanny ability to find the right direction for Missouri School Boards Association.  I've always heard that managers do things right and leaders do the right things -- that statement seems to apply to virtually all the efforts of the association under his guidance. 



Throughout the years I have watched him set an example of leadership rivaled by none.  Whether it was through a difficult situation that required wisdom and discernment or a celebratory moment when it was time to simply enjoy a mission accomplished, I have watched him lead - not manage -- but truly lead our association.


As a result of his professional success,  inspirational advice, and his attitude of humble, servant leadership, I, and many others  have turned to Dr. Ward for guidance -- viewing him as mentor, colleague,  and friend.


As I embarked on a career as an executive director of a non-profit association, I found I relied heavily on the wise counsel and good advice of several leaders involved in the business, but when the time came for a difficult decision, or I found myself facing a monumental task, I found myself making a  call to this very wise mentor of mine.


As  time went on, I found that when tempted to let emotions like disappointment, fear, or even anger unduly influence a decision, I would always think back to a conversation I had with this trusted mentor late one evening as I worked into the night, struggling with a difficult decision.  


I had faced some rather overwhelming issues for a period of time and placed a call to Dr. Ward and left a somewhat desperate sounding voice message telling him I felt I had arrived at a  point where I simply did not know what to do!  


He returned my call, and after hearing me out, and listening to a very detailed description of the dilemma I felt I was facing, he said to me, very simply, "Sharon, I know you, and I know that you know what you're doing.  All you need to do is think it through, decide what's right, and do it!  There is never a wrong time to do the right thing!"


Think of that!  What if everyone of us ascribed to that simple, yet powerful idea?  


"There is never a wrong time to do the right thing!"


As you are faced with decisions in your personal and professional life, I challenge you to take the words of my trusted mentor to heart and find the right thing -- then do it!


Blessings,


Sharon

Let the words of my mouth.....

Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff and nudge me when I've said enough!

--unknown

I had to LOL when I saw this on a church sign on Grand Avenue the other day!  It's plain and simple language, maybe even a little irreverent, but it certainly provides food for thought!


I've often thought it would be much nicer if we all worked diligently on saying things that are true, helpful and encouraging!  Of course, there are times when the truth is painful, and can seem very negative, but what if every painful word spoken was  followed by a kind word? 


And, wouldn't it be great if the good Lord would give us a little "nudge" when that moment arrives that nothing else should be said? I have a very good friend who uses the acronym W.A.I.T. when he's involved in conversations with certain people, or in certain meetings.  


It stands for Why Am I Talking?  


Occasionally, I catch  myself rambling a bit and sounding a little wordy.  At those times, I've found it helps  to think of that simple little reminder -- W.A.I.T.!  


It gives others a chance to be more engaged in the conversation, and more importantly, it gives me a chance to settle in and be a good listener!


The next time you're in a class discussion, meeting, or just a friendly conversation give some consideration to the amount of time spent talking vs. listening.  And, as you focus on that, think about measuring your own words against my friend's advice!


Blessings!


Sharon

Be prepared...

The way to prepare for the future is to invent it. 

John Scally

Many times, we are bound only by our thoughts of our own inability to get something done.  Most of us, at one time or another, feel subject to feelings of inadequacy. There are times when thinking about financial hardships, failing relationships or any number of other kinds of obstacles sends us into a mental "tailspin" and facing the next day's work, or the next encounter with someone who is antagonistic, or negative,  is just  too overwhelming to face!


As you look at the days, weeks, months, and years ahead, do you like what you see?  Do you have plans for tomorrow that will help you move closer to goals you've set for yourself for a year, or five years from now?


It's great to have someone helping you set goals, and it's great to set some basic goals such as exercise & diet plans, professional development, better relationships with family members and friends.  But, relying on goals that basically "belong"  to someone else leaves little room for your passion for achieving those goals to grow.  It leaves little room for the feeling of satisfaction when you accomplish something that will move you one step closer to the goal you've created for yourself!


I learned long ago that there's no one who knows my heart and my goals quite like I know them! Are you setting goals that can happen...goals that are attractive to you?  



As you think about your future, right now, in this very moment, plan something you would like to accomplish in the next 5 years.  Invent a picture of what your life can be professionally and personally!  Do so in vivid detail so you will have a clear picture!


You've invented your future!  I wish you all the best and I would love to hear about a new goal you've set for yourself!


Blessings,


Sharon

Don't give up now....

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

Martin Luther King

Bad things happen.  Good things that seem within reach slip out of reach.  Everyone has struggles in life.  There are times we struggle with disappointment, setbacks and even the end of what we were certain was a good thing.


When those bad things happen, or when something that seemed so right slips just out of reach, remember the words of Martin Luther King.  Face the disappointment.  Fix what you can and accept what you can't change.  Then spend some time reflecting on the circumstance.  


Get it ALL out of your system. It's okay to spend enough time on a problem to fix what you can.  Most importantly, it's okay to spend enough time on a problem to face the hurt, anger or disappointment.  Forgive when needed -- ask for forgiveness if necessary.


Once  you've accepted whatever responsibility you might have, and you've determined there's nothing else to be done, MOVE ON!  


I've always loved the Scripture in the Bible that says, (in Sharon's paraphrase) "There's a time for everything!"  If you would like to look that Scripture up and work on your own "paraphrase," you can find it in Ecclesiastes 3:1-15.  The words in this Scripture passage apply to everyone who is reading this blog, and to everyone who ever will read this blog, irregardless of spiritual beliefs!


My challenge to you is to think about the true wisdom of the words in that Scripture passage. Print it out right now and read it every day. Then follow  Mr. King's advice and fix your mind on the hope of the better day!


Have a great weekend!


Blessings,


Sharon

Life is....

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.  

~Grandma Moses 

What are you "making" of your life?  What have you done today that may be considered  good, or kind by another?  More importantly, do the people you care about know you care and that you've thought of them fondly today? 


 Is there someone you should thank for a kindness shown to you or your family?


It's so very simple to become so busy, and wrapped up in schedules that time seems too fleeting to stop, take a few minutes to make a call, send an email or other kind of message to that friend, or family member you thought of earlier today... Maybe you heard a song, or ate a certain restaurant, or something silly happened to remind you of a particular time spent with that person.


I got the news a little while ago that a friend had met with a deadly accident.  It has caused me to stop and think about the last time I saw him--the last time I spoke with him and his wife.  When you get the news that a friend, or family member has suddenly been removed from the existence that is your life, it always takes a little while for reality to set in, to really register that you didn't get to say that one last thing, or ask that particular question you were sure to ask the very next time you were together. Sometimes, we find that all we really wanted a chance to say was "Thank you."


Practice being thankful and letting others know you are putting thankfulness at the top of your list of virtues to work on in the coming days or weeks.  Start by thinking of one, or two people right now, who have encouraged you along the way. Whether personally, spiritually, or professionally, that first person whose name just popped into your mind is special enough to warrant a "thank you" call or message.


If life is "what you make of it"  my challenge to you this day is to make your life a life of being faithful and thankful!  


Call...email...text....visit.  Let someone know you care.


Blessings,


Sharon

The art of relaxing....

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits." 

Satchel Paige

The weekend is here, the weather is cooperating and a gentle wind is sending the scents of Spring wafting through my open window.  I've had things I've had to get accomplished today, and I still have a few things that need to be done, but I am looking forward to having a little bit of true "down time" this weekend!

Everyone needs a little time to spend clearing their mind of the clutter of overwhelming tasks, bills to pay and a busy lifestyle!  


If you're able to get away and spend some time in a quiet place outdoors, try spending just 15 minutes taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature.  Enjoy the view...listen for the sounds of birds singing...breathe in the aroma of the breeze. 


Think about creation. 


Think about the people you love.


Sit and think...or, in the words of the beloved Satchel Paige, "just sit".


Enjoy your down time!


Blessings,


Sharon