It only takes a spark....

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame 

by an encounter with another human being. 

Each of us owes the deepest thanks 

to those who have rekindled  this inner light. 

--Albert Schweitzer

One definition of the word "kindle" is: to light up, illuminate, or make bright. One might say, "Happiness kindled her eyes!"


I'm sure you've seen it before -- that "light" in a person's eyes when they are with someone who cares about them or someone who is a special "forever friend" who knows them better than anyone else.


I trust and hope that everyone reading this blog has that one good friend who knows, (and keeps) your confidence. It's that special friend who knows the goodness in you and knows about the times you've made mistakes....and loves you anyway!


It's the friend who came to you when you were feeling low and spoke words of encouragement, offered a hug for good measure and reminded you of your "inner light"....all the while asking nothing in return!


I know you're probably thinking of someone right now, so take just a few minutes and look up an email address, find that friend on Facebook, or even better,  give that very special someone a call...right now, while you're thinking of it!  It's time to say Thank You!


It's time to tell that extraordinary person that you are humbly grateful for the encouragement...for the "rekindling" of your inner light!


Blessings!


Sharon

Learn a new trick....

Everyone thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy

It's so simple to see the need for changes in other people!


When an issue is unresolved, or things just aren't working out right, it's very easy to look at the other person and find the error in their ways.  We are usually quick to focus on how much better our relationship with that person would become if only that person would make the necessary changes.


An annoying co-worker, a tyrannical supervisor or even a family member can sometimes be the one person who just seems to be that one who gets on your very last nerve!  A conversation with them can be painful... like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard!


My challenge to you is to think very carefully about some of the exasperating conversations you've had with that individual, then spend a few minutes thinking of something you could have said differently.  It may be that you could have simply used different body language, or possibly diffused a bad conversation with a bit of pleasantry.


I learned something from a business leader in the direct sales field that has helped improve the nature of many dialogues I've had over the years. It's quite simple. All you have to remember is the acronym F.O.R.D.


It stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams!


It only takes a few minutes to engage someone in speaking about their family, their occupation and their recreational hobbies.  In that few minutes you've let them know you are interested an what's going on in their  personal and professional life.  Knowing that you've shown an interest can soften the hardest heart and it usually causes them to smile!


(I haven't forgotten "Dreams".  It's just takes a little more time and focus to get someone to share about their dreams -- realized or unrealized.  Consider that the "next step" in your plan to make a change for the better to see if your new attitude can improve the situation!)


Blessings!


Sharon

I'm investing in.....

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy, and focus to, 

whether positive or negative.

Adam McGinness

Have you ever been around someone who seems to belittle the things you deem important?  Is there someone in your office or a group you have membership with, who seems to constantly  "talk down" your ideas or  belittle your dreams and future plans?


I copied the quote you just read at the top of this blog from the Facebook page of a friend the other day and I've thought of the wisdom it holds many times since discovering it there!


What do you give your attention to?  Do you expend the largest amount of energy to working toward solutions, or just talking about the problems?  Where is your focus?


I believe we actually do become like the things we think about....the things we focus on.  If you are facing relationships, personal or professional, that are negative, take time to seriously consider the impact they have on your mental and physical well-being.


Distance yourself from the negative if you can.  If you can't see a way to make a change at this time, at least spend a bit of time every morning before you even get out of bed, and every evening just before you drift off to sleep, thinking of the most positive, uplifting relationships in your life.  


Those things you think of just as your mind begins to rest, will help determine how you rest! And, it's always easier to face the negative if you've "filled the tank" with lots of positive first!


A lady I used to work would share with us periodically about her prayer time and how valuable it was to her to start and end each day in prayer.  She was a part-time seamstress so it seemed especially descriptive when she would say to us, "A day hemmed on both ends with prayer is less likely to unravel!"


My challenge to you is to make an attempt to eliminate the negative and spend your time and energy focusing on the positive things in your life!  


Let me know how that works for you!


Blessings,


Sharon

Everyone needs one.....

"I always feel smarter after talking to Carter."

-- Me

Who do you think of when you think of the word "mentor"? 


A successful business man...an inspiring teacher...a true statesman...an inspiring leader... a family matriarch who is the fountain of family wisdom?


In Homer's The Odyssey, we see the  first use of the word "mentor" and it was actually the name of a man who was a "teacher" and "overseer" of Odysseus' son, Telemachus.     In The Odyssey, Mentor was a trusted friend and counselor...someone whose experience and success gave credence to his ability to teach.


Over the years, having a mentor has evolved into something deemed necessary for success in business, education, entertainment or virtually any other career.  Mentoring programs are commonplace because over the years it's been proven that a good way to learn how to do the thing that needs doing is to learn from someone who has done it before!


Years ago, I had a chance to begin watching  a man by the name of Carter Ward lead Missouri School Boards Association (MSBA)  as its Executive Director.  I began attending MSBA meetings as a locally elected school board member and through a desire to serve at a different level and an interest in working with the leaders of the association, I worked my way up to become one of four statewide elected officers of the association and was able to work closely with Dr. Ward and his staff.


One thing I have always admired about Dr. Ward is  his uncanny ability to find the right direction for Missouri School Boards Association.  I've always heard that managers do things right and leaders do the right things -- that statement seems to apply to virtually all the efforts of the association under his guidance. 



Throughout the years I have watched him set an example of leadership rivaled by none.  Whether it was through a difficult situation that required wisdom and discernment or a celebratory moment when it was time to simply enjoy a mission accomplished, I have watched him lead - not manage -- but truly lead our association.


As a result of his professional success,  inspirational advice, and his attitude of humble, servant leadership, I, and many others  have turned to Dr. Ward for guidance -- viewing him as mentor, colleague,  and friend.


As I embarked on a career as an executive director of a non-profit association, I found I relied heavily on the wise counsel and good advice of several leaders involved in the business, but when the time came for a difficult decision, or I found myself facing a monumental task, I found myself making a  call to this very wise mentor of mine.


As  time went on, I found that when tempted to let emotions like disappointment, fear, or even anger unduly influence a decision, I would always think back to a conversation I had with this trusted mentor late one evening as I worked into the night, struggling with a difficult decision.  


I had faced some rather overwhelming issues for a period of time and placed a call to Dr. Ward and left a somewhat desperate sounding voice message telling him I felt I had arrived at a  point where I simply did not know what to do!  


He returned my call, and after hearing me out, and listening to a very detailed description of the dilemma I felt I was facing, he said to me, very simply, "Sharon, I know you, and I know that you know what you're doing.  All you need to do is think it through, decide what's right, and do it!  There is never a wrong time to do the right thing!"


Think of that!  What if everyone of us ascribed to that simple, yet powerful idea?  


"There is never a wrong time to do the right thing!"


As you are faced with decisions in your personal and professional life, I challenge you to take the words of my trusted mentor to heart and find the right thing -- then do it!


Blessings,


Sharon

What's under the rug?

 "Be who you are and say what you feel because 

those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 

 -- Dr. Seuss

While it's always good to "be who you are" and to "say what you feel," each of those sentiments must be tempered with good judgment and a certain amount of sensitivity.  If everyone simply blurted out exactly what was on their mind, there would be no end to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.  


It's always good to know that there are people  who love us no matter what.  I believe those are the ones Dr. Seuss was referring to as "those who matter." 


However, all too often we avoid a difficult conversation that really SHOULD happen to protect ourselves from an uncomfortable situation, sweeping things under the proverbial "rug" so as to avoid having to see the situation for what it has become.  It's a fine line, and a difficult one to cross....or NOT!

The problem with "sweeping things under the rug" is that eventually, there are so many "things" under the rug, we end up "tripping ourselves" over our very own mountain of debris that has built up under that rug! It is impossible to move forward with your plans and to work on your dreams and goals if you are constantly picking yourself up after falling down because you've been "tripped up" again by an issue you've not been able to face.


Whether it's an apology owed to someone, or you feel there's someone who you need to forgive, it's time to consider dealing with the issue. It may be an  annoyance that you've decided to accept and "live with" yet it angers you every time you think of it.  If that's the case, it's very dangerous to "sweep it back under the rug" and tell yourself it's just not worth facing.  If it's worth the effort of hiding it, you can be assured it's worth the effort it will take to leave it out, think about it, and talk it over with someone!


Yes, there's truth in Dr. Seuss' statement, but there's also truth in saying that there are people involved in your life, whether personally or professionally, who do mind...and they matter.


Have a good week!


Blessings,
Sharon

Happy Valentine's Day!

“Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved." -- Victor Hugo I think human beings were made to love and be loved.  It's that simple!  Our personal relationships are very important to our general sense of well being and time invested in making those relationships better is never time wasted. Whether it's your spouse, significant other, or your best friend, take time today to remind that special someone that you care.  The benefits of loving and being loved will make a difference in every aspect of your life. Studies show that people who never feel alone and have a general sense of safety and security with their family and friends have a better chance of success personally and professionally.  We also know that, statistically speaking, people in close relationships live longer! So, enjoy life today!  Call someone you care about and tell them why they are important to you! Happy Valentine's Day!